I wrote this some time ago, an actual journal entry, may you learn from my foolish mistakes…. (date withhold to protect the “innocent” characters in this true to life confession hehe)
Forgetting him is easier than I expected to be, maybe just the thought of a better looking guy (hahaha) is enough to help me reel into reality and push aside whatever we had-actually I’ll be very honest and say there really isn’t much to hold on to after all. I got defrauded by a boy whom I thought was man enough to protect me. Truth be told, I also made myself too vulnerable-my emotions too open, I practically wore my heart on my sleeve (such a no-no in this situation). I was too confident, Bible says pride goes before destruction, indeed pride goes before a broken heart as well.
Oh well I forgive (his name) for not protecting me as a sister.
I forgive myself as well for being emotional too soon over and over again.
May God forgive me for not obeying Him completely and for not waiting on Him and His perfect plans.
Help me Jesus, help me to put my heart and emotions on a complete rest and hibernation mode, freeze it if possible. Wake it up when he comes, when Your perfect time has arrived and not any nanosecond sooner. Wake it up when he’s ready to claim me completely not hesitantly, when an engagement ring awaits to be bought and the altar short to being booked in a heart beat. I am setting my faith on this kind of set-up, because You alone can make this possible.
Lord make my husband as bold as a lion, that when he comes there’s no second guessing or a period of confusion or hesitation.
Give him the faith of Abraham, that when he pursues me it will be extravagant, that I’ll see Your faithfulness and goodness in his life.
Make him as sweet as David who has written songs and psalms.
Lastly, give him a Christ-like heart that he may be Your most tangible expression of love to me.