Countless photos, hundreds of testimonies, i cannot even imagine the number of tweets, Instagram or Facebook post about Ignite -truly it is beyond experience, no pictures and quotes would justify what God did in Cuneta last May 29-31. But what Im going to write today is not about the impact that it made but rather my personal journey towards it-this is me debriefing myself 🙂
Let me start off by saying the last 2 months was not what I anticipated it to be. I was faith-filled, dreaming, believing for things i know are way far than my reach yet at the same time i know it was too little for God. Consider me the crazy girl who always wants to reach for the sky and touch the stars-that’s me. God has gifted me with an oversized imagination and has wired me to audaciously keep asking Him to make those things a reality. I actually do tire myself just thinking, dreaming and hoping.
But instead of a dream come true, what I got was disappointment , discouragement and a wounded faith. I was believing for a brand new phone instead my old phone broke, believing God to go to World Conference and Disneyland in Florida, my visa got denied for the third time. To top it all, we found out my dad has aortic aneurysm, a ticking time bomb inside his chest, all of a sudden fear just came rushing to my heart. From the scariest thought: What if I woke up one day and he’s no longer there? to my small wishes: Who’s going to walk me down the aisle?And then there’s the constant pressure at work, certain people that tests every bit of your well mustered remaining emotional quotient.I was rob of joy, i was crying, pleading, grumbling, begging until there was nothing left to do but stand still and let everything sift you through, hoping you can stand despite it all.
And then there was the 3 days of Ignite, being fully soaked and saturated with God’s presence, all I can do was repent, be renewed and worship God! I was glad He met me, I was glad that I’m not just a face in the crowd of 9600, I was glad that it was not just an event to ticked off nor was it doing my work.
God met me and laser beamed on my sins:
no matter how you termed it or downgrade it,
discouragements, anxieties, fear does not please a Holy God
nor was He happy that i was nurturing my broken faith
God showed His Identity: HOLINESS
God showed His Nature: CONSUMING FIRE
and there I was as if I was a born again again