One night this week I was hanging out with 2 friends who are both young professionals.
Girls love to dissect and process things that happened and this is one of those nights:
“bakit nya ginawa yun?”
“bakit nya sinabi yun?’
at ang pinakamasakit na tanong “bakit hindi ako?’
I was only listening, quasi most of the time women really doesn’t need an answer or a solution-because they already knew what it is. They need friends who will listen, friends who understands exactly what they are saying, they need to feel that its normal and for times like this its ok to be a bit overacting and emotional.
One of my friend said this: “Crush lang broken hearted na agad!” Lakas no!
She didn’t say this in a demeaning way but really to give a title for moments like this.
How I wish I cannot relate, but sadly I do not hold any badge that says: never been defrauded or better yet hindi pa nagpaloko, most of us had this moment for those who haven’t, my prayer is that you never will and that you’ll know that its possible to be never broken-hearted na ikaw ang may kagagawan. I want to share with you some lessons I’ve learned the hard way, lessons I learned from my mentors, brace yourself coz the truth will really hurt, huwag mong basahin kung hindi ka ready makinig:
1. Never Assume! -same old boring statement but as you well know it really works!
Eh ano ngayon kung maraming smiley ang text? So what kung lagi ka nyang kausap?
Gentleman ba kamo? Feeling special treatment ang datingan?
Marami bang regalo or madalas ka ba nyang puntahan?
Sampalin mo ang sarili mo gurl! (harsh i know, pero kelangan yan para magising ka)
Me sinabi ba sya sa yo? (Christian translation: nag-lay down)
Me commitment ba? Nililigawan ka ba nya?
Kristyano ba sya? Ready ka na bang mag-asawa?
Kapag No ang sagot sa lahat ng nasa taas- Itigil ang kabaliwan! Gumising sa katotohanan!
2. Don’t Pre-emt
Ang mga bagay na hindi pa nangyayari ay posibleng mangyari pero pwede ring hindi!
Narinig mo bang me gusto sya sa ‘yo?
Me nagsabi sa yong liligawan ka nya!
Sabi ng friends mo kinoconsider ka nya
Eto ang mga moments na actions are better than words!
Hintaying mo munang magkatotoo bago ka maloka kakaisip
Balik sa step no 1: Never assume! Never assume until proven guilty na totoo ang mga pinagsasabi sa yo
3. Talk to God
Lahat ng tanong mo sa mundo kahit gaano kakumplikado, si God lang makakasagot ng pawang katotohanan, yes pati ang lovelife mo!
It has never been an issue if God will answer, He always does.
The issue is do you know how to listen and obey?
God always speaks, He always listen, its simply a matter of learning how to hear Him.
If that’s too hard-read your bible, me sagot dun!
If you can’t understand the Bible- talk to a more mature Christian leader.
If you are too emotional, as i know we often are, consult a more mature Christian of what you heard from God and trust them to discern and help you understand God’s will. (Huwag matigas ang ulo!)
4. Train your Emotions
I will do another entire blog for this, but for starter’s:
a. dont react to your reaction-nginitian ka lang, yung utak mo nakarating na sa wedding gown sa kasal nyo, wag ganun!
b. learn how to do poker face-kapag binigyan ka ng regalo or hinatid ka ng naglalakad hanggang Antipolo, magpasalamat ng tama at wag magtatalon sa tuwa sa harap nya.
c. take what he says literally-huwag mong gawan ng buong commentary ang statement na “coffee tayo!” ang coffee ay coffee lamang hindi yun codename ng “i like you”, “i love you”, “you’re so beautiful!” at kung no-ano pang gusto mong isipin dahil crush mo ang nag-invite sa yo.
5. Say No to any undefined relationship
No commitment, No intimacy-in tagalog wag kang feelingerang gf!(ouch! ilag lang)
wag kang pumayag sa more than friends less than lovers na set-up-talo ka dun!
– kahit gaano pa nya iparamdam at sabihin ang words na “I need you!”, don’t play the best friend role, wag kang pumayag sa MU, wag mo syang i-disciple, hindi ka lalaki,
hind rin ikaw ang nanay nya so wag mo syang i-baby, elaborate ko pa ba o gets mo na? 🙂
When in doubt kung ano ang relationship nyo, back-off and re-calibrate.
Love kita gurl, wag mong saktan ang sarili mo, tandaan mo to:
Walang madedefraud kung walang magpapa-defraud
Wag mo silang bigyan ng permiso, take responsibility!
Be a wise woman of God
Fear Him alone and don’t fear being alone
Listen and obey Him at all times, no matter what the cost
I believe in you, you can do it!
PS Here’s a book Im highly recommending for you to read:
Also share in the comments lessons you’ve personally learned in you travel to emotional purity 🙂