Lost Souls Found

I can’t believe Im down to my third month here in Kenya and my visa is expiring soon. So far this has been one of my roller coaster experience and I’ve never seen myself so vulnerable and yet grace-filled on the same breath. I never knew living abroad can be so full of adventures yet emotionally and spiritually faith building to say the least. But on top of my never ending changing season or so it seems-one thing remains constant, consistent and in abundance- God’s unceasing faithfulness, love and strength, for which I cling to every morning I wake up.

The semester is about to close and just looking back at all the life transformations I’ve witnessed, I remain to be in awe of how God wooed lost souls and place them in His loving arms- almost 2 decades of having experience that for the first time and yet its always remain to be amazing seeing people find Love Himself amidst our own wretchedness.

Finding forgiveness amidst hatred and anger, for a past so cruel and unforgiving, with people you expected to be families but turned enemies.

Finding purpose in your everyday life, where other students just thread in and waste their life daily on unreal relationships, things that promises full life yet leaves you empty and hungry for the real one

Finding security while battling the constant pressures of friend’s popularity, money and seemingly perfect life projected for everyone to see

Finding true Love and forever acceptance for an unlikely soul, so lost, so unwanted and scorned by a community聽that lured it to enjoy cheapened sex and promiscuity

Real lives. Real stories. Real Saviour and Redeemer found. And their lives just beginning to be lived again for the first time, rediscovering real identities, finally understanding that life is meant to be lived for a purpose, that True Love exist, that relationships with a Savior is for real and Eternity is a gift.


To a former fellow lost soul


“Crush lang, broken-hearted na agad!”

One night this week I was hanging out with 2 friends who are both young professionals.

Girls love to dissect and process things that happened and this is one of those nights:
bakit nya ginawa yun?”
bakit nya sinabi yun?’
at ang pinakamasakit na tanong “bakit hindi ako?’
I was only listening, quasi most of the time women really doesn’t need an answer or a solution-because they already knew what it is. They need friends who will listen, friends who understands exactly what they are saying, they need to feel that its normal and for times like this its ok to be a bit overacting and emotional.
One of my friend said this: “Crush lang broken hearted na agad!” Lakas no!

She didn’t say this in a demeaning way but really to give a title for moments like this.
How I wish I cannot relate, but sadly I do not hold any badge that says: never been defrauded or better yet hindi pa nagpaloko, most of us had this moment for those who haven’t, my prayer is that you never will and that you’ll know that its possible to be never broken-hearted na ikaw ang may kagagawan. I want to share with you some lessons I’ve learned the hard way, lessons I learned from my mentors, brace yourself coz the truth will really hurt, huwag mong basahin kung hindi ka ready makinig:
1. Never Assume! -same old boring statement but as you well know it really works!
Eh ano ngayon kung maraming smiley ang text? So what kung lagi ka nyang kausap?
Gentleman ba kamo? Feeling special treatment ang datingan?
Marami bang regalo or madalas ka ba nyang puntahan?

Sampalin mo ang sarili mo gurl! (harsh i know, pero kelangan yan para magising ka)
Me sinabi ba sya sa yo? (Christian translation: nag-lay down)
Me commitment ba? Nililigawan ka ba nya? 
Kristyano ba sya? Ready ka na bang mag-asawa?
Kapag No ang sagot sa lahat ng nasa taas- Itigil ang kabaliwan! Gumising sa katotohanan!

2. Don’t Pre-emt
Ang mga bagay na hindi pa nangyayari ay posibleng mangyari pero pwede ring hindi!
Narinig mo bang me gusto sya sa ‘yo?
Me nagsabi sa yong liligawan ka nya!
Sabi ng friends mo kinoconsider ka nya
Eto ang mga moments na actions are better than words!
Hintaying mo munang magkatotoo bago ka maloka kakaisip
Balik sa step no 1: Never assume! Never assume until proven guilty na totoo ang mga pinagsasabi sa yo
3. Talk to God 
Lahat ng tanong mo sa mundo kahit gaano kakumplikado, si God lang makakasagot ng pawang katotohanan, yes pati ang lovelife mo!
It has never been an issue if God will answer, He always does.
The issue is do you know how to listen and obey?
God always speaks, He always listen, its simply a matter of learning how to hear Him.
If that’s too hard-read your bible, me sagot dun!
If you can’t understand the Bible- talk to a more mature Christian leader.
If you are too emotional, as i know we often are, consult a more mature Christian of what you heard from God and trust them to discern and help you understand God’s will. (Huwag matigas ang ulo!)
4. Train your Emotions
I will do another entire blog for this, but for starter’s:
a. dont react to your reaction-nginitian ka lang, yung utak mo nakarating na sa wedding gown sa kasal nyo, wag ganun!
b. learn how to do poker face-kapag binigyan ka ng regalo or hinatid ka ng naglalakad hanggang Antipolo, magpasalamat ng tama at wag magtatalon sa tuwa sa harap nya.
c. take what he says literally-huwag mong gawan ng buong commentary ang statement na “coffee tayo!” ang coffee ay coffee lamang hindi yun codename ng “i like you”, “i love you”, “you’re so beautiful!” at kung no-ano pang gusto mong isipin dahil crush mo ang nag-invite sa yo.
5. Say No to any undefined relationship
 No commitment, No intimacy-in tagalog wag kang feelingerang gf!(ouch! ilag lang)
wag kang pumayag sa more than friends less than lovers na set-up-talo ka dun!
– kahit gaano pa nya iparamdam at sabihin ang words na “I need you!”, don’t play the best friend role, wag kang pumayag sa MU, wag mo syang i-disciple, hindi ka lalaki,
hind rin ikaw ang nanay nya so wag mo syang i-baby, elaborate ko pa ba o gets mo na? 馃檪
When in doubt kung ano ang relationship nyo, back-off and re-calibrate.
Love kita gurl, wag mong saktan ang sarili mo, tandaan mo to:
Walang madedefraud kung walang magpapa-defraud
Wag mo silang bigyan ng permiso, take responsibility!
Be a wise woman of God
Fear Him alone and don’t fear being alone
Listen and obey Him at all times, no matter what the cost
I believe in you, you can do it!

PS Here’s a book Im highly recommending for you to read:
Also share in the comments lessons you’ve personally learned in you travel to emotional purity 馃檪

ang puso at ang kumunoy!

These past few days were a consistent buzz of women in a hurting relationship:
       From a friend who choose a rebound boyfriend, the other one broke her heart
      To students blackmailing their ex-bfs to come back or they will commit suicide
      To wives not being led by their husbands
      To students being stuck in a lesbian relationship, even whey have a way out
      To women giving away their virginity to a man who is manipulative and non-committed

My heart goes out to them.

Truth be told, it is way too easy to judge and correct their bad decisions and you will remain to be right. We can go about hearing them out with great sincerity but at the back of our minds we鈥檝e already made out a scheme of how to lecture them and teach them the easiest way out. Those things are quite easy and I admit I have chosen that route a lot of times.

But an even greater truth is that my heart is no way greater than the ones they have. Given their unloving environment, a whole bunch of insecurities and hurts, add up deeply embedded lies from the enemy and I might find myself as well in those situations or might even do worse. My heart is sinful just like theirs and this remains to be a timeless truth:

The heart is deceitful above all things 鈥╝nd beyond cure. Jeremiah 17:9
Changing our situation comes first with the acknowledgment that <insert your name here> heart is deceitful and beyond cure. In tagalog, yung heart mo alam ng mahuhulog sa kumunoy, tumalon pa rin at nagtataka kung bakit sya nalunod, oo ganun kabobo ang heart natin, walang exempted dito.
Amidst the warning, we enjoy choosing to move towards danger until its too late
That鈥檚 the truth and it hurts but unless we convince ourselves that it鈥檚 the only truth then we will never find ourselves on the road to recovery, hindi tayo mare-rehab.
I am fully convince of that truth and anytime I would choose to backslide from that conviction God has made sure to surround me with more than a hundred friends who will get on my face and remind me of that (Salamat sa lahat ng gumagawa nito sa ken-i am forever grateful) plus the Holy Spirit’s never ending conviction.
I DON鈥橳 TRUST MY HEART and by God鈥檚 grace I hope I never will.
I know my heart is capable of selling me out, kaya ng puso kong:
a.    mamigay ng free hugs and kisses
b.    maging devoted for life
c.    maging martyr
d.    ipamigay pati ang kaluluwa ko
e.    ibenta ang buo kong kinabukasan
f.     ibigay ang lahat-lahat

   for the price of what:
      a daily dose of affirmation, someone who will simply say how beautiful I am
      a man who will listen, whose willing to give his shoulders to cry on
      my dream guy-my real life Robin Padilla
      for companionship, so that you wont feel alone
      for pressure, dahil lahat ng tao sa paligid ko in a relationship
      for the that feeling of being greatly pursued
      for the attention and the gifts
      for acceptance and 鈥渓ove鈥
for the things my family did not give me
for all the things my dad did not show
    other hearts would even give in to less
      for an I love you text or kahit sa smiley man lang
      for a great dinner
      for a convenient mode of transportation
      para sa 1 dosenang roses or sampaguitang galing sa simbahan 
      and a never ending list of the wrong definition of love
Ladies don鈥檛 trust your heart, ihuhulog ka nyan sa kumunoy!
Surround yourself with Godly women friends na willing kang hukayin sa kumunoy kahit ilang beses ka ng nahulog dun. Be humble, ask for accountability, live in the light not a double life. Make it a habit to confess your tendencies-your dreams, your desires, your emotions to a trusted matured women who fears God. You will never go wrong if you don鈥檛 live your life alone and isolated from Godly people.
I HAVE GIVEN UP MY HEART and im confident He will keep it forever.
16 years ago, lahat na yata ng pwede maling talunan, tinalunan na ng puso ko-kumunoy, balon, manhole, bobo yan ang identity ng puso ko noon. I got tired eventually, syempre yung heart ko sugatan, gusgusin, dead by all standards. God had mercy on me, alam ko matagal na nya kong tinatawag, antigas lang ng puso ko. CPR moment, God revived my heart, gave me hope, redefined my heart鈥檚 identity. I don鈥檛 want to go back, I don鈥檛 want to take my heart back, no matter how good looking it is now, shiny, clean and full of life.
I have given my heart to Jesus and I will only share it to the man He will entrust it to.  I know there will be many times I will struggle and try to get it and give it to just anybody who would satisfy what I want right now. But I also know that a heart who has been fully saturated with His love would no longer thrive in a cheap temporary kind of love. Jesus has locked my heart to be completely His to ensure that the only one can pry it open is someone who knows Him as well. I would never regret the times:
A.   God has broken my heart because im trying to fit it from someone of the worlds
B.   God did not answer my prayers because it is not His will
C.    God has to discipline to teach me who鈥檚 the Boss
D.   God has rescued me from temptations over and over again
Masakit, mahirap, hindi ka laging masaya, kaya totoo nga ang sabi nila
“Ang true love ay para sa matatapang na tao lamang.” (My Amnesia Girl)
Everyday is a decision to obey, to give in, to waive my rights to my definition of happiness, to give up the right to choose what I want. By God鈥檚 grace this is the price I choose to pay for the sake of an everlasting love, no richest man can give me in his entire lifetime.
Ladies, the man that exceeded everything you can hope for or imagine is not a fairy tale, He is alive. Magmumukhang gusgusin si Thor kung ico-compare mo sila. He came down here on earth hindi lang para isave ang isang Lois Lane, but He choose to be fully human (not an alien, nor a demi-god) to save you-oo ikaw na sa mga mata mo at ng ibang tao feeling mo undeserving ng isan tunay na Prince Charming. 

Hindi lang buhay nya ang ibibigay nya sayo, not just the the moon, the sun and stars but a life that is out of this world literally and beyond time. The man who literally caught the grenade, jump in front of the train to pay for all the sins we have committed and continues to commit. He鈥檚 name is Jesus, are you willing to surrender your heart to Him?